Spoken truths & the unspoken aftermath

Im on leave this week......or so I thought. 

I break the rule of checking emails on leave all the time, however I'm pleased this is the one time I continued to do this 

I answered an email regarding a matter which was very sensitive but was around words that were used when giving an explanation of a health related complication in language we think made sense to the lay person, but if anything results in more questions, more uncertainty & certainly more harm than one realises. 

Having had new doctors joined these last few weeks gives us senior doctors a license to empower but also influence the importance we have in what we say in certain encounters whether that is with a patient but more so their relatives. 

The impact of our words and an explanation is more profound than we realise  

Having been on the other side matters. Maybe hearing an explanation or dealing with the aftermath of a complex discussion actually resonates more when your'e in those shoes our patients stand in alongside their families. Having been there, I sure feel that impact more so than ever 

What you don't forget is what is said at that time 

Even if there is good intention behind that dialogue, the effect that is left resonates for time after. In some cases, it could be days, for some months. For a lot, a lifetime.  

I see this often enough when a complaint is raised. What I've read through is the aftermath of an accumulative mass of emotions and how time allows individuals to process the words that were said at one time continuing to resonate and results in a sense of uncertainty and definitely lack of closure. 

We break bad news at the height of tough times for families, especially when there is so much information is exchanged that there is a loss of connection during these conversations. Medical explanations involve utilising our clinical acumen but in the midst of those explanations, we lose our way.  

In other situations when trying to offer an explanation in what seems to be simple language actually results in more misconceptions & misconstrued ideology. Just some examples.... 

• confusion becomes dementia 

• Mass, lesion & tumour...... because one becomes scared to say cancer  

• infection becomes sepsis  

• being old & dependent becomes bed blocker 

The toughest conversations I've had to date is talking about dying, these will always remain the hardest part of my job & I appreciate that I still have a sense of gut wrenching when I know this is going to be one of the tasks of my day. 

What I appreciate we all don't feel this way but maybe this needs to be rekindled to understand how our words will resonate for time to come. Your name will be remembered & recalled at those times when one is acutely in shock, when they're angry from loss and when they're grieving months & years on.  

Do appreciate the words we used are heard by those who are just beginning in their careers, those are the ones we want to empower to be brave to take forward these conversations but also to be remembered for words & language that leaves an indelible effect for the positive. 

I don't always get it right but we all don't. Putting your hands up to admit though this is no weakness 

Lets not get eclipsed by our medical prowess but if anything let it get outshined by our humanity