Hear those unsaid stories.

I've had a birthday recently

What's different about it? Every birthday feels significant but maybe this one more so for a few reasons. It did lead to this reflection!

I avoided renditions of happy birthday on my ward round at least!

We have a lifetime of experiences to share but then again we hear stories through our work every day

We choose to take medical histories as we've been trained to do but do we really listen to their story of their life

I choose to work in geriatric medicine and I was asked the other day why I chose this field. I say I think it chose me

We become older & we hope with it there is a story for each year and each birthday that passes. So I started listening to stories of those older patients on ward rounds much earlier in my career than I realised. I just never really realised the significance of those chats or their impact.

I appreciate I have more time now as a consultant but I aim to listen to their worries & express their concerns of those they have at home. A lot mention their dependent partner or their pet! But you will hear about their children they've loved and lost & those they choose to keep a distance from. What you realise that the person in a bed that your'e looking after is more than a patient with a bed number and a wrist band. They have a story & your'e a better person & professional in your chosen field if you make the right choice to really listen to them. They will certainly trust you more so if they choose to share their story, if you also share some of yours.

They won't always ask of your time as they are not expecting this but will appreciate you more.

Going back to birthdays....there are aplenty who celebrate a birthday in hospital, not out of choice but out of obligation to their health.

So ask them about their birthday celebrations of the past & acknowledge that day as though you would celebrate yours. The smile and appreciation will certainly add to your day, make a difficult time for them a little lighter.

A cake or a card doesn't go amiss either! it was worth it to see the smile on my last patient's face. A good distraction from the fear of being in hospital! Colin the caterpillar never fails to bring joy!

Some birthdays may hold significance that might be upsetting so choosing to talk through some of their better memories makes the tougher times less cumbersome. Even if its transient its worth taking a chance...

This isn't an ode to geriatric medicine though will always champion it!

I'm asking when you do celebrate your next birthday, think about asking those you look after what they did for theirs & it will make your next & their celebration feel a lot sweeter

Mine was pleasantly full of flowers & the subsequent challenge of finding enough vases.... The colours brought enough smiles & the perfect distraction from events past!

Thankyou to those who provide me with the colour of their existence & the chance to celebrate birthdays past, present and god willing more to come!